Normally when friends get pregnant I don’t get too excited. Sure I’ll make baby gifts but I’m not a kids person. But when I found out my friend Jesse was expecting I got excited. One reason is that she’ll be a kick ass mama. However the real reason for my excitement was that I finally got to make inappropriate baby gifts!
Oh I had so much fun putting this package together. The parents to be, Jesse and Josh, both have good senses of humor and loved it.
I thought I’d set the tone with an inappropriate card. The envelope says “To my favorite knocked up chick” and the front of the card simply says “Bitch”. I got it in a trade and have been saving it for just the perfect occasion.
Onto the onesies. The pink one says:
And the second one says:
I found these at Cafe Press here and here.
My favorite part of the present was the broken condom baby hat. It just cracks me up.
Someone on Ravelry posted a picture of a broken condom baby hat months ago. I couldn’t find the creator or the pattern so I improvised the design. I knit a hat from the bottom up and just decreased slowly to create a tip on top. I like the little smirk over the band-aid.
Next up is baby’s first hand grenade. Jesse and Josh are revolutionaries so their baby needs to start stockpiling! The grenade has a squeaker inside.
I found this pattern on Ravelry.
Since both of the parents are from Missouri I decided to make baby’s first moonshine. (The first time I had moonshine was in the Ozarks. It was intense.)
I improvised the design. The bottle is crocheted and the label is knit. I lightly felted it.
The moonshine is a rattle. I couldn’t find one so made one out of an old film canister and some beans. Here’s a progress pic:
There was one serious gift in the package. This is a glass globe that is like an incense holder.
Instead of burning a stick though you put essential oil in the little bowl on top. You hang the globe in the sunlight and the bigger part of the globe heats up and the essential oil fills a room up with a lovely smell.
It was so hard to keep this all a secret! Jesse and Josh loved the presents and promise to send me funny photos once their kiddo arrives. That “are you my Daddy” onesie will make a great photo op. This was by far the most fun I’ve had making baby gifts. I’ll definitely be making more broken condom baby hats.
