Initially I wondered how I’d know when the figures were done. I kept tinkering with the details over and over. Then one day I looked at them and thought “it’s time”.

First I took scissors and cut the mother figure open.

Then I added the “blood”. I felt heavy but calm.

The blood was too concentrated so I spread it out and fluffed it up some.

As I was ready to join the figures a wave of nausea started rising up. But then the thought “you can do this” came into my head. I realized yes I can do this and began needle felting them together.

When my mother disowned me she said that “she was no longer my mother but was the womb that gave me life”. The figures represent this.

In a sense she killed her mother role. The mother figure here dies in the act of releasing the daughter figure.

Often people ask what happens when I call my parents. My mother almost always answers the phone. She sneers a hello, probably because she sees my number on caller ID. I identify myself and ask to speak with my dad. Silence answers. She stays silent long enough to be awkward but not long enough for me to ask if she’s still there. Then she either tells me to hold on as she gets my dad or she’ll tell me he’s not there. If he’s not there she’ll often hang up after telling me. Occasionally I’ll have time to ask when he’ll be around. She’ll tell me and then hang up.

She tries to act like she doesn’t realize I’m her daughter but the hatred in her voice tells me otherwise. She sounds angry and resentful of me. Holding such a grudge for sixteen years seems unhealthy to me. But she’s stubborn-I get my stubbornness from her-so I’m not surprised she hasn’t let go. I’ve really worked on letting go of my anger and resentment. I’ve been pouring those emotions into the piece.

Prana has been a constant help on this piece. While I worked on the figures he sat on the womb in the spot where they’ll go.

He was determined to sit there too. If I wanted to put the figures in that spot to see how they’d look I’d have to pick Prana up and sit him on my lap. If I didn’t he’d just go right back and sit there. He just radiates love when I’m working. He’s helping quite a bit.