My bamboo socks are done! The second socks that I used the new metal needles turned out ever so slightly smaller than the first sock. They both fit though so I’m pleased. Thebes took this action shot of me wearing them.

There’s several wild cactus around and today one of the barrel cactus bloomed.

I find cactus intresting. They are so unapproachable yet so beautiful and delicate looking. Cactus, especially a barrel cactus, remind me of my mother. My mother grew them. One of my strongest memories of her is buying her a baby barrel cactus for Christmas when I was in the first grade. She was happy with it and through the years it grew to an impressive size.

When I moved out at 18 the barrel cactus was still there. Fully grown now it was a pretty cool looking plant. Even it’s prickles were big. Sometimes I think my mother is like a cactus. She put out all these defenses so I couldn’t get close to her; she didn’t want me to get close. But deep down I think she was vulnerable and delicate just like the cactus she raised.

She disowned me when I was 18. Crying, begging and pleading on my part has not changed her mind. She doesn’t want a relationship with me so we don’t have one. I tell my friends with children to never disown them. Even if they are diametrically opposed they should keep a relationship going. As much as my mother and I didn’t get along sometimes I wish I could call her and say hello just to tell her how I’m doing. I’m over 30 and her cold voice on the phone when I call my dad still makes me feel 12 and rejected.

Whew! I didn’t mean this post to turn that way. A little processing on my part by way of blogging I think. Really I’m very happy with the way the socks turned out. And despite some sad memories the cactus flowers are still pretty.